For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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