he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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