I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize