i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
false alarm. still invincible.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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