my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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