We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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