Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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