I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
