Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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