After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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