yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
