Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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