Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
