Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
