I have demons in me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
