She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She announced her abortion via fbk
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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