I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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