so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
