U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Couch. On fire.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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