I saw his package. It spoke to me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
