In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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