I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How does one acquire holy water?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
