He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
