If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
