You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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