the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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