OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
