The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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