We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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