I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
