She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
