i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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