We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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