Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You ruined the universe
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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