His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
