You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What a dumb baby whore.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
