so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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