so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
