Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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