you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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