Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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