I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
