i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
