Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
