so that wasnt chicken after all
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
