The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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