I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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