Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
