ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She announced her abortion via fbk
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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