My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
